Smoker?

I am a former smoker. Yep, quit September 21, 2007. Do I miss it, sure do! I miss it more some days than others. I understand now how a drug addict or alcoholic feels.
I started smoking when I was 16. I use to steal my brother’s Camels (sorry Chuck if your reading this).
I remember in High School we had a smokin area. Hard to believe now, but very true. All the cool kids hung out in the smokin area during breaks and lunch. I guess I wanted to be one of those cool kids.
As I became older, it became a habit, and a way for me to cope with stress. Smoking also became social, everyone I hung out with smoked. We would hang out and smoke.
And so the years passed, one puff at a time and then BANG I found out I have cancer.
I attended the "Quit Smoking Class" at Kaiser. I had to go in order to receive the patches at my prescription rate. I really didn’t pay much attention to the instructor. I had heard it all before. I knew smoking was not good for you. Everyone that smokes knows that. But…it is never YOU that is diagnosed cancer, it is always someone else. I still left the class and lit up in the car. (I was too afraid that the instructor might see me smoke so I waited until I was in the safety of my car) The next day I filled my prescription for the patch but didn’t even put one on for another week. I kept making excuses. I wasn’t ready, I was under way too much stress, especially now with having cancer and all.
Finally on September 21, 2007, I woke up that morning and slapped one of those nicotine patches on. Never touched a cigarette after that. I only wore the patch for a week because for one, I had some really strange dreams, and two the patch made me sick to my stomach. So off they came, and I still did not pick up a smoke.
I am not going to lie, but it was hard, really hard. I grieved for the smoker part of myself, if that makes any sense at all. I had to change every single thing I did. I did not get up at the same time as when I smoked, because I needed extra time in the morning to make sure I was able to get in a few puffs before and after my shower. Driving was hard, I smoked when I drove because I was nervous…now I chew gum.
The real reason I quit, well I felt rather stupid to be honest. I really believed that other people got cancer, not me. I could have continued on smoking and using the line that I already have cancer, so who cares now.
The only problem is that my family cares. I do too. I want to be around for them and I want to grow old with them. I am closer now than ever before to doing just that, growing really, really old.
If your reading this and you smoke, quit. No excuses just quit.
My Time to Quit